Unexpected Side Effects
by White Wolf Zita
Summary: Chase Young is a nice guy. He DID sell his soul to a demon for an eternal youth potion and is evil and all, but he's not that bad! But you know that potion? It had a few side effects he didn't bargain for...
1. Prologue

**Unexpected Side Effects  
by White Wolf Zita  
2006 **

Xiaolin Showdown does not belong to me.

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**PROLOGUE:**

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Chase Young is a really swell guy. I mean, of course he sold his soul to a demon for a potion to keep him forever young and is very evil and all that, but he's really a nice fellow. Seriously!

Well, you know that forever-young-ness potion? It has one or two little "side effects" he didn't bargain for. It turns out, if you read the super-super-super fine print on the bottle, it says:

THE DEMON WHO SOLD YOU THIS CAN'T BE SUED FOR ANY OF THESE PROBLEMS: (These may or may not be triggered at random by caffeine) Itching, dandruff, bleeding, vomiting, drowsiness, diarrhea, dementia, loss of toenails and/or eyelashes, scorching, allergic reactions, or hyperactivity. If any loopholes are found, please talk to your lawyer. We'll get back to you in a few millenia.

Let's rewind that for a moment. Note the word "hyperactivity." Yeah, grin all you like, you know where _this_ train wreck is going...

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	2. It Begins!

**Author's Notes:  
Seeing as to how I was very EVIL last time and forgot to put these cough-was-too-lazy-cough on here, I would like to make it known that this story was actually once up on but account-related complications and other stuff made me take all my work down. I'm reposting this and trying to write more of it.**

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**Chapter One: It Begins!**

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It all started on a nice morning. In fact it was the seventeenth of June. Even MORE in fact, it was six o' one AM on a Tuesday. That was the time when Chase decided to wake up. He always got to pick what time he wanted to wake up. Nobody could make him do anything he didn't want to do of course, much less get up at some ungodly hour like _six o'clock._ Sure, he slept only until six o' one, but six was much too early to consider. To think, wasting _sixty seconds_ of good sleep!

And so Chase got dressed and ate some very nice pancakes for breakfast. Then he drank his daily cup of coffee and decided to go do something evil, or at least beat a few of the cat guards in a fight, he liked to do that too. He decided to go ask Wuya which he should do because he was bored and in a good mood. That, with Chase Young, is rare and a reason to be afraid. Be very, _very_ afraid.

"Wuya?" Chase asked, knocking on her door. There was a loud crash and some scattered curses and the Heylin witch appeared in the doorway, wearing a bath robe. Her red hair was sopping wet and she glared at him frustratedly, green eyes narrowed. Wuya did not like her morning shower being interrupted.

"What?" she snapped. Chase shrugged. He'd already forgotten what he wanted to ask her anyway. Why was he so loopy this morning? Chase shook his head a little, hoping to clear it, but alas he couldn't remember. Funny, Chase could usually remember things...

"Sorry, I forgot what I wanted to ask you." Wuya gave him a peevish look and slammed the door shut again. Then Chase remembered. He'd wanted to ask Wuya what she thought he should do today. Again he knocked on the door.

"What do you want?" Wuya growled again, flinging the door open for the second time. Chase thought about that for a moment.  
"I wanted to ask you something, but I keep forgetting what it was." Wuya was about to slam the door in his face again when Chase smiled suddenly.  
"I just remembered! I wanted to ask you what I should do today," he said. Wuya's eye twitched.  
"Why?" she growled.  
"I'm bored," replied Chase flatly. Wuya groaned.

"Go stand on your head or something, just leave me alone!"  
SLAM! The door was shut again and Chase was still bored. Nothing had been accomplished here. Two of Chase's most trusted spy/escourts (a tiger and panther) exchanged uneasy looks behind his back. Something was up with their master today.

As you and I both know, Chase had never read that super-super-super fine print on the potion bottle. Also, as you must have correctly guessed by now, this was going to be one of those times when the hyperactivity was randomly triggered by caffeine. And so, the day was promising to be a very strange one.

Chase Young was bored as I have told you, and so he decided to go stand on his head like Wuya suggested until he could think of something more evil to do. He'd just ransacked the five nearest villages yesterday and set the sixth on fire and was feeling a bit too lazy to go flood the seventh right now. Yes, he'd do that tomorrow. Tomorrow was terribly handy for things Chase was putting off, always twenty four hours away.

And so, musing about how clever he was by putting things off until tomorrow, Chase headed down to the citadel garden and marched out into the center of it, then stood on his head for a while. He hadn't stood on his head in a long time, and the blood rushing to his head made him giddy. When he got up, he was a little loopier than he had been before, but now he had to think of something evil to do. So our hero/villain sat down on one of the fine marble stools in the garden to ponder is options.

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Meanwhile, a small conference was being held between two of the cat guards. General Half-Fang, a panther whom had once been a fierce warrior cheiftain from the jungles of South America, was sitting on a stone dais in the center of his personal chamber. He was listening to Pale-Scar, a lion and (in the general's oppinion) pathetic waste of fur. Half-Fang didn't have much patience for underlings who thought they knew everything. This particular lion didn't have a full mane, for he had been rather young when Master Chase defeated him in battle. His name came from the savage rip that hadn't healed properly across his shoulders and the white-scarred skin had never regrown fur. He was not much to look at. 

Pale-Scar liked Half-Fang as much as Half-Fang liked Pale-Scar. To tell the truth, the older cat frightened the lion a little, his ragged fur striped and his face criss crossed with ancient wounds. Even part of his nose was missing, but Half-Fang was best known for his famously broken left canine.

"Why do you need to bother me, kitling?" growled Half-Fang. His voice was low and slightly rasping, enough to give most people the shivers. Pale-Scar looked resolutely at his own paws. He had been looking at the panther general's, but the sight of his superior's vicious claws was not comforting. He really wished Raven-Claw, the panther escourt mentioned before, could tell Half-Fang this herself.

"General Half-Fang, Lord, Sir, Raven-Claw said to tell you that Master Chase is acting very strangely today-"  
"Is it our place to decide what behaviour of our Master is strange?" Half-Fang cut Pale-Scar off sharply.  
"N-No, General Half-Fang Sir, but she says she fears for his mental health-"

"Say no more, kitling. I will go and see for myself. Tell Raven-Claw she'd better be right or she can consider herself slashed open five ways," said Half-Fang, rising from the stone dais and making his way for the door. Pale-Scar flinched when the general's back was turned at the harsh punishment he would give Raven-Claw. He really hoped she was right about this, it was Half-Fang himself who had coined the term "slashed" to mean "punished". The young lion quickly left the room and decided to go for a walk to calm himself down. He really wished he was a spy, like Raven-Claw or that tiger Shadow-Theif and could turn into a crow. Getting away would have been nice right now.

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As Pale-Scar went off to find a nice place to hide from Half-Fang for the rest of the week, Chase Young had thought of something suitably evil to do. First, he was going to go steal a little kid's puppy. Then he was going to kick it. Repeatedly. It was a glorious plan! But first he would have to bring his two favorite hunting partners. 

"Shadow-Theif, fetch Dead-Foot and Blood-Tooth, we're going into town," he smiled sinisterly to the tiger on his right. Shadow-Theif lowered his head in acknowledgement and became a crow, then took flight to find the two hunters. It wasn't an unusual request.

While waiting for Shadow-Theif to find them, Chase realised he should leave a note or something to Wuya. He walked around for a while but found no paper. He sighed, he'd have to go find Wuya before he could put his evil plan to work.


	3. A Few Delays

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Chapter Two: A Few Delays

Dead-Foot and Blood-Tooth were two of the most feared cats in all of Chase's army. That was mostly because they were just _a little_ socially dysfunctional, but the fact that they were both mute (somehow managing to get their tongues torn out) and liked to hurt people and/or things for no reason might have had something to do with it.

Blood-Tooth was a ragged lion, roughly equal in age to Half-Fang. Dead-Foot was a tiger, named for his withered left forepaw which, amazingly enough, didn't hinder him in the slightest. Chase did not bring them on missions where the aim was to leave some of the enemy alive.

Unfortunately, in Chase's current loopy-minded-ness, he hadn't remembered this. As he understood things now, Dead-Foot and Blood-Tooth would be fine hunting partners while finding a puppy to kick.

Shadow-Theif, still in crow form, kept a good distance from the two hunters as he flew around, looking for Chase. Why did he have to move around so much when he should have waited? Shadow-Theif was a little annoyed, but he didn't say anything. Neither of the other two said anything either, because they couldn't. Theif did not like spending too much time with them. He beat his wings and rose up to look around the inner gardens where he had last seen his master. No luck. He sighed heavily. _Oi..._

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Wuya stared after him for a minute in shock, blushing slightly. But then she felt a wave of nausea. Lizard man had just _hugged_ her! GROSS! She screwed up her face in disgust, and then sighed when she recovered. That had done it, she needed another shower. She didn't want to catch salmonella or whatever it was that lizard men had.

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Meanwhile, back at the ranch-er, I mean back with Shadow-Theif, Dead-Foot, and Blood-Tooth, things were still not going well. The two silent hunters had been giving Shadow-Theif these slightly murderous, hungry glances for the past couple of minutes and he did not think they meant it as a friendly gesture. These two _were_ known to catch and eat birds...

Shadow-Theif really did not want to think about that. Okay, find Master, get these two off my paws, and go have a long flight somewhere nice. That sounded good, but the only problem was getting these two murderers off his tail feathers, as it were.

They finally found Chase a few minutes later. He had gone from whistling to singing in the time since he'd hugged Wuya, and it was not a pretty sound. Raven-Claw had moved a few yards away from him, grimacing with both paws over her ears.  
_"This is the song that never ends!  
Yes it goes on and on my friends!_and on and on he went. Dead-Foot and Blood-Tooth exchanged dangerous looks of alarm, and then lowered themselves to the ground and began to slowly back away from Chase. He was starting to scare them, and scaring Dead-Foot and Blood-Tooth is not an easy task.

Some people started singing it not knowing what it was!

And now they're stuck singing it forever just because

This is the song that never ends!"

Shadow-Theif dropped from crow to tiger form and made a graceful landing, flinching at the sound of Chase's horrible singing.

Chase noticed his return and, mercifully, the song was brought to a screeching halt. He gazed at them in confusion for a moment, then smiled dimly, comprehension dawning. He remembered now!

Chase switched to his reptilian shape. Both Dead-Foot and Blood-Tooth were greatly comforted by this. They jumped to their feet, alert and excited. They were going hunting! Hooray!

"Ah, come along my friends! We must go find a puppy to kick!"

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Well, as it happens, it turns out I had much more of this on my hard drive than I actually posted. I was faintly mortified by that and decided to correct the situation. Still, it is doubtful I shall ever finish this. Though I can't account for boredom-induced fits of insanity, it seems my XS muse is quite officially dead and I have a few other projects running right now. Still, if you enjoy what is here, then that makes this effort worth while.

-Zita


End file.
